Harbor Me by Jacqueline Woodson

Author:Jacqueline Woodson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Young Readers Group
Published: 2018-08-27T16:00:00+00:00

20

By mid November, it had gotten colder. The school cranked the heat up a notch and the radiator’s hissing got louder. We were all sweating, but Ashton kept the scarf he’d been wearing all day wrapped around his neck. The day before, he’d worn a turtleneck under his uniform shirt. He had moved his desk and was sitting outside the circle, far away from Amari. But they kept looking at each other like there was something they wanted to say. And couldn’t.

I took out my recorder and started to turn it on.

I don’t want you recording me, Ashton said.

Then don’t say anything, Holly said before I could talk. The week before, she had brought her knitting needles and a ball of purple yarn to school. She sat there, the needles clicking over themselves, the purple square of yarn growing more rectangular. Her grandmother had taught her to knit before she died. I’d only met her once. She was tall and dark brown with silver-white hair. She had died three years ago in December, and every year, as December got closer, Holly started knitting. She said she didn’t even like knitting that much, but it reminded her of her grandmother. By April, the needles would be gone again.

Ashton got quiet.

I don’t have to record anybody today, I said. It’s not a big deal.

I mean, I want to be remembered like everybody else, Ashton said. He kept his eyes on the arm of the desk, tracing circles into it with his thumb and pointer finger. And I don’t want to at the same time.

I don’t get it, Ashton, Amari said, annoyed. He was drawing in his sketchbook. I couldn’t see what it was because, as usual, he had his left arm curving over the picture. There was a pack of colored markers by his elbow. Either you do or you don’t.

Ashton looked right at him. I don’t want to be remembered for saying the wrong thing.

Ms. Laverne said we can’t say anything wrong here, that everything we say is okay and nobody’s judging us, Esteban said.

Amari said a curse word. Then looked up with a cheesy grin. See? No lightning struck me, he said, going back to his drawing.

I can’t say stuff like how much the gun thing sucks, Ashton said. But, I mean, does everything have to be about black versus white? I mean, what if people just stopped talking about racism. Wouldn’t it just go away? Look at us all sitting here. Everybody is everything and we’re all together. And nobody’s fighting or being mean to each other.

Amari stopped drawing and shook his head. You just don’t get it.

I do too get it, Ashton said. I didn’t even think about being white until the first time I met you, Amari. You asked me if I was an albino. I bet you don’t even remember.

I remember, Amari said.

I didn’t even know what an albino was, Ashton said. He pushed his hair away from his forehead.

And that’s the problem, Amari said. Like I said, you just don’t get it.

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